As the new year approaches and I look back on the old, I wonder if this has been true of me. Have I really longed for God as a parched animal longs for water?
There have been times when it has been true. When circumstance is difficult and I do not understand what God is doing, then I have a tendency — as do many, I think — to seek Him out. I look for Him and try to understand what He is doing and to understand as much of the “Why?” behind it as I am able. During those times, I read more extensively and pray more often. In short, I feel exactly as the psalmist has described. I am seeking fervently for God and only satisfied when I find Him.
There have been times when it is not true. When I think I understand what is going on and circumstances are easy, I tend to slack in my seeking God. It’s not that I stop reading or praying, only that the fervency dwindles. I read, but I am content to read less than during the difficult times. I pray, but I am not aching for the presence and touch of God in quite the same way as when I am confused.
In the year ahead; in the day ahead, let me rectify this situation; let me long for God as a dehydrated animal longs for water. Let me crave Him and seek Him until I have sated the craving. Then let me crave Him still more. There is a band that wrote the words, “You alone are what my soul needs … the thirst is taking over.” Let that be true today and in the year to come. May I be keenly aware that You, oh, Lord, are what my soul needs desperately. May the thirst for You, Jesus, take over my thoughts in a way that makes me utterly Yours.