Ten Week Positive Adjective Challenge: Week Six

The challenge: Once a week, for 10 weeks, choose one emotionally descriptive word that positively describes my wife.

The intent:

  1. As a man, I broke through the boundaries of emotional simplicity and began to explore emotional complexity.
  2. This challenge forces me to positively define my wife.  By doing this, I have to accept what I positively say to be true.  Thus, it being written in black and white, the things I write become a permanent fixture here and most likely in the minds of the readers – including her.
  3. Growth.  Always growth.

Here is week six.

Genuine

I anticipate objections to me using the word “genuine” as an emotionally descriptive word, but I heave a sigh of relief when I consider that my wife is genuine. Let me explain.

My wife is genuine in that she is a WYSIWYG kind of lady. I do not worry that what she says about me to me is appreciably different from what she says about me to others. This is not to say that she broadcasts my faults and foibles hither and yon, but rather that the tenor of what is said in private will match that in public. If she is largely positive about my performance as a husband or father in private, I can trust that she is giving the same kind of report when speaking with others. If she is pointing out areas for improvement, I can trust that those areas remain largely between us.

This also means that what she says is the case is generally the case. She is not, in my experience, one of Those Women (whomever they may be) who says that she “doesn’t care” where we eat, then nix every suggestion I make. The internet is replete with examples of Those Women and my wife is not of their number. If she says she does not care where we eat, then she does not care. What I see is what I get.

This does not mean that my wife is without mystery. There have been reams of material written on the differences between men and women and how incomprehensible one sex is to the other. My wife need not dissemble to be mysterious — she is that by dint of nothing more than being a woman. She can be precisely who and what she seems and I will still be mystified.

My wife is genuine in that she does her level best to speak the truth to me in love. Considering the difficult truths that sometimes must be spoken in a marriage, this is a fine line she walks and I appreciate that she makes the attempt. It would be easier, I suspect, to tell me what would make me happy or to say nothing at all. But to speak the truth to me and to do so with love is a challenge to which she rises.

I could go on, but this is sufficient for the moment. My wife is genuine and that genuineness is comforting to me. It helps me to be at peace, despite all the things that conspire to steal away my peace.

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